Ok, this is a multiple-confession post, so just get over it now.

1 - I watch Dancing with the Stars.

1a - Do you know what my alternate choices are on a Monday night? American Idol, that's what. So now don't get so judgmental about me watching Dancing with the Stars!

2 - I like Lil' Kim.

2a - Freak out about it! I know since my polarity points directly and unequivocally to >>> Feminist, liking Lil' Kim is a tad antagonistic to my usual settings. I know, I know, she exploits her own femininity to glean attention and $$$ and used her feminine wiles to climb to the top...But in a way I think that's pretty damn resourceful and kinda "4th Wave Feminism." She's her own pimp and that's empowering.

3 - As much as I like Lil' Kim I have some not-so-nice opinions on her plastic surgery, but hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

All that being said, I was so proud and impressed with her dancing skills! From drug mule to tango extraordinaire, Lil Kim' was great! With her jail time out of the way, now all she just has to worry about are those silly back-taxes.

I may not be thrilled to plan a wedding....

..but I am out-of-my-mind-butterflies-in-my-stomach-I'm-actually-kinda-nauseous-excited to get to wear a wedding dress. Mere days after Shug proposed I had amassed approximately eleventeen hundred links to every Vera Wang, Amsale, and Jenny Packham confection I even remotely liked.

Now, when cultivating this collection it dawned on me that I wasn't seeing any prices listed anywhere...It was all cotton candy clouds and fairy princess sleepover parties. It was me, on my wedding day, so ethereal in a couture gown that the luminescence I'd emanate would float me down the rose petal-carpeted aisle and guests would have to turn away because my chic fashion sense was too perfect for mere mortals to partake in.

Dress I decided on: 28,000 dollars. Twenty eight THOUSAND dollars. Gross. And seeing that WE have about an 8G budget, my coveted Vera and I will never meet. And that is so ok with me...$28,000 for one dress, one day....really??

And I thought KINO was just about gambing.

I just stumbled across these puppies and they are only $11!! Now it needs to stop snowing.

The Smell of Plastic Babydolls

When we were little, and usually following a tornado of wrapping paper and ribbon strewn on the floor, my sister and I would crack open the box of our new doll, Barbie, She-Ra, what-have-you, and follow two distinctly different rituals...

I, the elder, maintained a cool demeanor while I slowly untwisted all the little twistie-ties that kept said doll's accessories in place. I inspected each piece for symmetry and perfection, I wanted to make sure my doll had a fair fight in the battle for my attentions once the excitement of my birthday or holiday had passed.

My sissy, on the other hand, would sloppily rip, stab, mangle the box the doll was encased in and after liberating the plastic smile from its box she'd just...sniff it. She'd take deep, long, luxurious breaths of the new plastic smell, closing her eyes to increase potency and pleasure.

This little girl would be caught sniffing the hell out of plastic bags at the grocery store checkout, the amoebic collection of Tupperware my mom had stashed under the cupboards, and always, always, always, the new toys she'd receive.

Happy Birthday to my dear little-little, S.,who from the get-go, has enjoyed the subtle and often overlooked pleasures. I norf you.

Wedding Planning at Its Worst

SO it seems that blogging, schooling, working, screaming, fighting, crying, worrying, and exercising are pretty tough to do at once when you are planning a wedding. This sick realization came only after I was struck with the reality that weddings are soooo not about the two silly kids getting hitched, but allll about the soon-to-be-in-lawed-families.

Eeeep.