Friday, January 8, 2010

"Difficult" People

I may be an opinionated lady, but I have always tried to be a team player. Not an "ok-I-don't-care" teammate or a "no-no-no-YOU-decide" teammate, but an opinionated, (and I hope) diplomatic, and integral part of the networks in my life.

Being a teammate to other "difficult" people has proven to be much more of a challenge than my personal quest to not rock the boat. When my will wavers (usually after an extreme lack of sleep, a big ol' bowl of wheat, or finals week) I have to bribe myself to keep the devil of verbiage that wants to belch its way out of my system under control.

I think this ability to "play nice" may be getting worse in my old age! My tolerance level for rudeness, narcissism, and just lack of general awareness and concern for others had plummeted in the last few years. Maybe because I know it's NOT OK to let difficult peoples' behavior persist in the workplace, school, relationships, or family. I realize I may have been a part of the creation of these "difficult" peoples' idiosyncrasies and atrocious interpersonal tics by not addressing them at first blush! I don't think these individuals are horrible people, I just think they have horrific personalities...

I truly would appreciate some "tips and tricks," if you will, on how to deal with people that make me want to reconsider my aversion to poking others' eyes out with my thumbs.


  1. The thing I've most tried to do is tell myself maybe they have something going on in their life that is causing them to be acting that way. Just like I have "bad" days and want to stomp people, I remind myself that maybe they are dealing with something big and their frustration is showing. Not sure if that helps you any but I hope so!

  2. Hey Mrs Thang!
    I feel your pain. Sometimes you have the right to poke out an eye or two but when that doesn't apply to the situation, ask yourself, if in a month, you will still care about the situation or if caring will make a difference in your life? If not-let it slide. Some people are just nincompoops. No explanation. No excuses.

    I have a random question for ya, how do you refer back to an old blog or a website without actually listing the web address to that place? Like when you referred to 'Shugs' being easy to shop for. I just can't figure it out.
    Much thanks for expanding my brain power.
    Hope all is well.

  3. Wren, holy crap, do I ever feel you on this one. I'm pretty sure you just described me in your post, so I know exactly where you're coming from!

    The thing that truly helped me was taking the Myers Briggs personality test during college. (Don't laugh!) My undergrad business school instructors had every student in the program take the test to prepare us for the massive amount of group work we would be forced to endure over the following two years. I'm telling you, that test told me so much about myself and my interactions with others! We had the opportunity to discuss the results with other members of our group and it was as if a light bulb went off - the motivations behind each of our differing actions wasn't because we were lazy, stupid, or trying to provoke each other, but because we viewed our choices and options differently. Taking that test saved me from going all Tom Cruise and jumping on couches after many harrowing nights working with people I wouldn't choose to hang out with otherwise. My sister is half-way through an MBA program and took the Myers Brigg. Like me, she LOVED it!

    Of course, if all else fails, you could always just make yourself a "What Would Oprah Do?" bracelet.

    Good luck playing nice!



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