It started when I was young, 6 or 7, I was painfully aware that I had the knobbiest knees and twig-like arms. Teachers would grab my upper arm, close to the armpit and squeeeeze, like the witch in Hansel and Gretl, testing JUST how bony I was. In junior high, when my classmates were busy cultivating curves and honing their skills at brassiere buying, they also made it a point to regularly pull my baggy uniform tight to check and see if any breasts had budded over the weekend. In high school, classmates, male and female, just couldn't help commenting on my lack of makeup and unflattering outfit choices and comparing them to my much better-dressed cohort.
I was kidding myself that these comments would cease as an adult. I feel they have gotten worse, to be honest. The straightforwardness of checking my wing to see if I'm done has morphed into a passive-aggressive comment-question-smirk routine. Yes, I understand that women's bodies are scrutinized, analyzed, and snarked about on a constant basis in our culture. I have the unfortunate knowledge of who has the BEST bikini body of 2010...and who should have just stayed home in their period-stained jogging pants with the elastic waistband. And all of this information from just trying to check out at the grocery store and glancing at the covers of magazines.
But seriously. SO WHAT if my pants are a little tight today? I DON'T CARE what you think about my hair color choices. It's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what I had for lunch, ok?
How do you deal with other women talking crap about your body to your face? Karate. Chop.
ugg. My boss is the queen of this. She does it in a way that makes it sound like she's complimenting me, but instead she's really close to being actively angry at me for being relatively young. She's only 50, but she just had open heart surgery two years ago and is on a strict diet for her weight and health.
ReplyDeleteI want to alleviate her of her problems and just scream "NO REASONABLE PERSON EXPECTS YOU TO LOOK LIKE ME! ONLY MAGAZINES! 50 YEAR OLDS WHO HAVE RECENTLY GONE THROUGH HEART SURGERY DO NOT LOOK LIKE 30 YEAR OLDS! I DIDN'T MAKE THIS MYTH UP! DON'T BE MAD AT ME!"
Just yesterday she commented on my appearance and said "oops, at my sexual harassment training last week they said that if I comment on someone's physical appearance it might make them feel uncomfortable. Oh well."
OH WELL!?! UGG!
oh god, thats horrible! All of it! I'm short, and pretty curvy, I have a 'friend' who always makes fun of my curves, calling me 'round' (HELLO! I HAVE A WAIST! I WEAR A SIZE 4!!) and it took until I was 23 to realize she's doing it to make herself feel better. Now, I usually reply with an (admittedly snotty) 'Jealous?' that shuts her up, anyway.
ReplyDeleteI hate this! I can't imagine the inmetus to comment on another woman's choices; regardless of whether or not you know the details of her life.
ReplyDeleteOk, so my whole life I thought I was fat. Funny thing is, every time I looked back on photos (with the exception of my freshman year in college-oh geeezzzeee!) I thought Dang! I actually looked good! I spent 2/3 of my life wishing I was thinner with more narrow hips, only to discover that I am not fat. I look and feel good and my husband likes hips!
ReplyDeleteSo shut up you demons in my brain-inspired by female role models in my life who too thought they were fat! I've had enough of you!
Being me is a-ok, hips and all.