Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The excitement has set in. At random times throughout the day, my heart will decide to trampoline off my diaphragm and leap into my throat. I am giddy, yes, unapologetically, ridiculously, unequivocally, giddy for Bestest Bests nuptials on Saturday!
I think much of this excitement was siphoned off my very own "wedding giddiness reserve" since much of my own emotion was spent on last minute to-dos and panic over my own wedding. It's been almost a year since Shug and I jumped into a life together and, while I thought it impossible, things have gotten even better. I'm not trying to say life is full of cartoon birdies helping fold the laundry...life still happens. We get grumpy, tired, sick, aggravated, and impatient. But the gift of having a partner in crime who knows the whole crazy backstory of WHY you may be grumpy or impatient is priceless.
Before I got married, I thought I understood what loving another person meant. I realize now you learn how to love each day a little differently. Burrowing out new spaces in my heart for Shug to reside hasn't been easy. I didn't think I could fit anymore places to love in there. I really love him THAT much. No. I've always been right. Like never-ever-wrong-right. Well, he taught me, because I eschewed the married life for years, arguing I didn't want to fix something that wasn't broken. But I was wrong, I admit it, that a healthy relationship needn't be "fixed," because it's not a machine or a toaster. A relationship is a living growing organism, needing constant care and room to grow and change. This flux needs attention. This plasticity demands a willingness to learn. Every. Single. Day.
I'm not saying marriage is the "magic ingredient." Hell, no. I am lucky enough to know people who are committed and still in love and in their 80th year that didn't need no stinkin' marriage license. I realize that I needed marriage to kick me into really "working" at my relationship. This is why I am so happy for Bestest Best. I am excited she'll get the kick in the pants, too. It's not that she needs it, I'm just excited for her to start this new chapter. We're lucky, just so lucky.
So as I search for that perfect wedding gift, I'm just going to give Luck. The fact that we made it this far is lucky, but you can always use a little more here and there in the future.