Because This Is Important

{via The Daily What}
        {via eject}

"This Is Heartbreaking, You Should Watch It of the Day: Palm Springs residents Ed Watson and Derence Kernek have been in a loving, committed relationship for over 40 years.

Recently, Ed was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and the disease appears to be progressing rapidly. The couple want nothing more than to be able to get married before the Alzheimer’s wipes away Ed’s memories of the life they’ve shared.

With the help of the Courage Campaign, Ed and Derence have submitted this video plea to have California’s ban on same-sex marriages lifted until the state’s Supreme Court makes its final decision on constitutionality of Proposition 8. “If the California Supreme Court is going to take its time,” Ed says, “then we deserve the dignity of marriage…before I can’t remember what marriage is.”

Learn more here."
 

A Gentleman's Evening with Whiskey...

Planning a party can be so fun, but I've usually had the pleasure of getting the details of the celebration in order with my partner in crime, Shug.  Since this Gentleman's Evening was supposed to be a surprise, I couldn't enlist my spouse for his creative powers, and what's more, I had to keep all of it a secret from him.  I can't tell you what was more stressful: planning a party without Shug or keeping a secret!

Memomena in Salt Lake City

I think I'm getting the idea that nostalgia can be a dangerous thing.  

Menomena played a show at Urban Lounge a couple weekends ago at the Urban Lounge.  Shug and I have had the pleasure of seeing these talented musicians play in Chicago, Boise, and a little old venue I adore here in Salt Lake City, Kilby Court.  Needless to say, Shug and I are SUPERfans of Menomena.  We have embarrassed ourselves (and our friends) countless times with our shameless adoration and need to be in the front row.  SO when we saw Menomena was booked to play SLC just a week after our return from our travels, Shug and I decided it was kismet!

While we weren't completely sold on their new album, it was Memomena!  We HAD to go.  This was a band that played in the background when the shackles of love were being soldered around both Shug's and my hearts.  This was a band that was playing when I decided to pursue a career completely outside of my educational background.  This was the band that blasted in the speakers of my car when I drove Shug to meet my sweet Grandparents for the first, nerve-wracking time.  This band kinda means a lot to us.

And this is where nostalgia can get a little tricky.  The performance at Urban was just, well, bland.  I'm blaming Salt Lake being the second-to-last stop on a loooong tour with Tu Fawning and the addition of another guitarist.  Three's company and four's a crowd, right?  The energy and snap these musicians used to convey so effortlessly was just absent from this performance.

And you know what?  Shug and I were totally ok with that.  Because this band has a few songs that are a part of our mixtape.  No matter what kind of so-so albums they create, they are already a part of what I consider to be the best album I will ever hear: the music I fell in love to.

Give. Luck.

The excitement has set in.  At random times throughout the day, my heart will decide to trampoline off my diaphragm and leap into my throat.  I am giddy, yes, unapologetically, ridiculously, unequivocally, giddy for Bestest Bests nuptials on Saturday!

I think much of this excitement was siphoned off my very own "wedding giddiness reserve" since much of my own emotion was spent on last minute to-dos and panic over my own wedding.  It's been almost a year since Shug and I jumped into a life together and, while I thought it impossible, things have gotten even better.  I'm not trying to say life is full of cartoon birdies helping fold the laundry...life still happens.  We get grumpy, tired, sick, aggravated, and impatient.  But the gift of having a partner in crime who knows the whole crazy backstory of WHY you may be grumpy or impatient is priceless.

Before I got married, I thought I understood what loving another person meant.  I realize now you learn how to love each day a little differently.  Burrowing out new spaces in my heart for Shug to reside hasn't been easy. I didn't think I could fit anymore places to love in there.  I really love him THAT much.  No.  I've always been right.  Like never-ever-wrong-right.  Well, he taught me, because I eschewed the married life for years, arguing I didn't want to fix something that wasn't broken.  But I was wrong, I admit it, that a healthy relationship needn't be "fixed," because it's not a machine or a toaster.  A relationship is a living growing organism, needing constant care and room to grow and change.  This flux needs attention.  This plasticity demands a willingness to learn. Every. Single. Day.

I'm not saying marriage is the "magic ingredient."  Hell, no.  I am lucky enough to know people who are committed and still in love and in their 80th year that didn't need no stinkin' marriage license.  I realize that I needed marriage to kick me into really "working" at my relationship.   This is why I am so happy for Bestest Best.  I am excited she'll get the kick in the pants, too.  It's not that she needs it, I'm just excited for her to start this new chapter.  We're lucky, just so lucky.  

So as I search for that perfect wedding gift, I'm just going to give Luck.  The fact that we made it this far is lucky, but you can always use a little more here and there in the future.

Source.

The Art of Saying "No."

I've always been a pleaser.  Blame my birth order as the eldest child or my propensity to try to fix everything I see as "broken," but I just want to make people happy.  In many ways this is a blessing, since I am going into a helping profession that demands lending an ear sans judgment on a ridiculously regular basis.  But I've started, yes, just barely started, to realize I need to start policing my resources.

This realization came after a particularly arduous day at work, followed by another "crisis" that demanded my attention into the wee hours of the morning.  Do you know who I didn't get to ask how their day was, after talking about how everyone else's day was ad nauseam?  Shug.  Do you know who had to eat dinner by himself as I attended to the rest of the world's issues?  Shug.  Do you know who pulled the covers over me and turned out the light when I had crumpled into bed after I had exhausted every last resource of energy I had for the day? Shug.

So, lines in the sand have been drawn.  I am now set to protect the modicum of safety and sanity we've built together.  This is hard for me.  I'm practically unwinding my own DNA every time I tell a person "no" now.  It's hard because I do care about these people that ask and ask and ask, but I also need to start caring a little more about me.  I'm not talking about being selfish, just reserving enough for myself so I am capable enough to attend to my own relationships and priorities.  Typing that just gave me a migraine.

Is it difficult for you to tell people "no?"

Source.

Salt Lake Talent - Ello There

I feel pretty lucky to live in an era where I can find local

talent at the drop of a word created JUST for interweb sleuthing.

Ello There is a local wedding invitation shop

that uses windpowered press

and,

I'll tell you,

Labyrinth references getyoueverywhere with me...!

So cute.

Birthday Loot

Shug was so sweet to surprise me with this Filson bag for my birthday...!  I've been coveting it for over a year to schlep my books around campus in high style.  I think it will be perfect for our trip to Europe this summer, too!  It's made of a super-thick waxed canvas that nary a pickpocketer's poky pocketknife could easily puncture.  The zipper will keep access to the treasures I find in Paris difficult to grab up, too.

Plus, if I ever go on safari, I'll fit right in!

Perspective.

I had a quick conversation with a dear friend the other day that has had the horror of growing up beside me for almost half of my life. He's seen me through a few different shades of hair, at least eleventeen different style changes, 2 study abroads, leaning how to wakeboard, 27 medical school rejections, 9 roomates, a broken heart, a trip to Vegas, 4 moves, countless debaucherous anecdotes, one boston terrier, finding my soulmate, 1 wedding, and 3 college degrees. We discussed my impending birthday and how crazy it is to be a certifiable "adult." As my thirties bear down on me, I'm weirdly calm about it.

I used to hatehatehate my birthday. On the cusp of turning 13, I opted for a pragmatic 12b. Even as a kid, I knew things got a lot more complicated when you were a teenager. I'd gotten really good at being a kid, I didn't want to give all of that up just because I had an ides of March birthday. So 12b I was for a good six months.

When I was 15, I managed to crash a car on the driving range mere weeks before the liberation my 16th birthday would have allowed with a driver's license. Aside from the shame exacted from everyone at school knowing I crashed a car in the school parking lot, I was a little relieved that the responsibility to maneuver 2 tons of metal down a windy mountain canyon each day had been delayed. I was still figuring out how to be a teenager, I wasn't ready to steer yet.

My 21st birthday, looked forward to by so many, found me driving my good-intentioned and quite inebriated roommates home after a single cranberry and vodka. My celebratory night on the town turned into an obligatory designated driver evening. And that was ok with me. I knew wasn't ready for the teeth of young adulthood. I quietly transitioned into my twenties. Mindful and terrified.

Now, with thirty staring me down like a mean girl at the mall, I find myself uncompelled to smooth my hair and reapply my Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers. I'm happy with the self-worth I've mined out of years and miles of muck and uncertainty. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin and my strong, amazing body. My need to dodge and tarry the oncoming years has dissolved into a comfortable state of acceptance and gratitude. I get to wake up every day. I get another opportunity to say "thank you," "I love you," and "I'm important."

I get the luxury of hindsight and perspective. And that is only possible with time.

Photo from 1999!

Happy Valentine's Weekend!

Do you get a three-day weekend?

I hope so.

I hope you are doing something fun with someone you love!

xo.

Awesome Valentine from AbleandGame.

Happy Birthday to Shug!

Well, it's official:
Shug is a grown-up!

Ok, well maybe not that grown-up...

Last night we went to the amazing Pago for a delicious meal with S. and her hubby.
They are all about from "farm to table" where all of their food comes from farms and artisans nearby.

It
was
delicious!

Happy birthday to my partner in crime.
I'm sweet on you.
xo

2010 is looking up already...

Wouldn't you know that two of the most beautiful-amazing girls on the planet asked me to me one of their bridesmaids!

I can't believe how lucky I am to have such a wonderful summer to look forward to!

They both were bridesmaids for my wedding this past summer and made my and Shug's day all the more special.

Now just to get through the little details of school and winter...

Photo from our wedding photo booth!

January 31

While everyone is settling back into their old or newly resolved routines, I'm still a wreck. I am in persistent fight-or-flight mode until January 31. After making it through the marathon of ThanksgivingChristmasNewYear's, I have one more hurdle to clear before normalcy can return to my life: Shug's Birthday.

Since he's the easiest person in the world to shop for, finding a present will be a piece of cake...right?

Improve your karma or help out a desperate wife by emailing present-to-end-all-presents suggestions to igotgoldteef@gmail.com.

Kisses and my first-born will be your handsome reward.

Resolution Smesolution

My New Year's resolutions are non-existent this year...

And that's really ok with me. Every year I come up with some goal that I am certain to toss by the wayside by the 'teens of February. By March I have browbeaten myself to a point of promising to start resolutions anew, only to fail by summertime.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

This new year is going to be celebrated with a list of aspirations:
~Try to sleep at least 7 hours a night
~Tell Shug how much I love him every day
~Volunteer my time again
~Read a few books I love and don't have to study
~Write more
~Forgive myself more
~Become more acquainted with gratitude
~ Give Ruby more kisses

Are you making New Year's Resolutions?

Whew!

Was your holiday wonderful?

Ours was!

Ruby spent the day un-stuffing her new stuffed animals.

What did you do?

Merry Holidays!

I hope you have a lovely Christmas Eve and Christmas Day!
Tell the people you love how thankful you are to have them in your lives.

I know I am.

Serves Me Right.

Remember how p.o.'d I was a week or so ago because Shug kept on buying himself stuff during the holidays? Well, after serving myself a big ol' slice of hypocrite pie, I decided to buy myself something before Christmas: a new camera.

This camera was supposed to make my dreams come true. It was miniature, cute, vintage-looking, digital, uber-portable, cute, came in a fancy-schmancy wooden box, weighed mere ounces, and it was cute. Did I mention how cute this camera was? I wanted, nay, I NEEDED this little beauty to be perfect. Why? Well, I didn't consult Shug about purchasing it...I just up and bought it myself...Without consulting the world's expert-on-damn-near-everything-camera about it!

Annnnd, let's just say that I have learned that cameras that are cute don't always take the best pictures....

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
It's being shipped back today...Shug's gloating has added the insult to cute camera injury.

Sunday...

It's ridiculously cold and gloomy outside today.

I'm battling the smog by:
eating gluten-free cinnamon toast with cream cheese
taking a snoozer with Ruby
watching Piñero

making a yummy dinner with Shug
and talking on the phone with my sister and my mumma.

I hope the sun is shining and the snow is sparkling where you are.

xo

Via.

A year ago today...

...Shug asked me to marry him!

It was the biggest surprise of my life.

And the best.

He was so thoughtful and sneaky when planning on how he was going to pop the question...
This is one of the roses he gave me that day.

It's a good thing he asked, 'cause I'm pretty sweet on him.

Recipe of the Week: Baked Potatoes with Spiced Turkey

Brrr! Baby, it's cold outside! I've been craving stick-to-yer-bones dinners like nobody's business, but hearty doesn't have to mean unhealthy. This dish was created with both of these details in mind: satisfying and not heart stopping!

Since school is out for winter break, Shug and I have turned our attentions to a very important pursuit: catching up on Dexter episodes. So, if you have a little extra time this evening to bake the potatoes, this dish will come together in the time it takes to watch an episode of your favorite show!

Baked Potatoes with Spiced Turkey
Serves 4
Ingredients
4 Russet baking potatoes, scrubbed clean with skins left on
Extra virgin olive oil
Sea Salt
1 pound ground turkey breast, extra lean
1 onion, minced
2 carrots peeled and diced
1 1/2 t of ground cumin
1 t chili powder (or more if you like it spicier)
1 t cayenne pepper
1 t cinnamon
1 bay leaf
1 can of crushed unsalted tomatoes
1 T tomato paste
Salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup shredded pepper jack cheese
Sour cream (optional)
Pumpkin seeds for garnish

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Rub the cleaned potatoes all over with olive oil and sea salt. When they are all covered, throw them into the oven and let them bake for about an hour or until easily pierced with a knife. (Thanks, Joanna, for this neat way to cook potatoes!) Go back to watching your show.

When the potatoes are about 15 minutes away from being done (you may have to pause the show for this little bit of cooking), heat another squidge of olive oil in a large saucepan. Add the onions and carrots and saute until soft. Add all of the ground spices and the bay leaf. Sauteing the spices will infuse the olive oil with it's flavor and make your dish have a little more depth. Throw in the ground turkey breast and break up with your weapon of choice. Once the turkey is all cooked through, add the can of crushed tomatoes with all of the juicy goodness and the tomato paste. Mix until well incorporated and let simmer on low for a few minutes to heat the sauce through.

Sidenote - There is an amazing invention I've discovered! It's a tube of sun-dried tomato paste! You can squeeze out the amount you need like toothpaste and you can just stick the tube back in the fridge. No more throwing away almost an entire can of tomato paste when all the recipe calls for is a tablespoon! Ok, I'm finished with that unpaid plug for tomato paste in a tube.

Your taters should be piping hot and ready to come out of the oven. Place the potatoes in serving bowls and slice them open with precision, try to make Dexter proud of your knife skills. Pinch the outside of the potatoes and push in so their guts get all squishy and soft. Give the guts a little extra squirt of olive oil and a pinch of salt and pepper. Divide the turkey mixture between the potatoes and dress with a bit of the shredded pepper jack, sour cream, and a sprinkling of pumpkin seeds. Go finish your show and enjoy your dinner!

Early Christmas

Shug and I had the best weekend in Denver!

We went to visit my parents, eat delicious food, and play Wii!

I was a little sad that I wouldn't be able to spend Christmas with them this year,
but my parents decided to have Christmas a little early and flew us out to Denver
for a long weekend!

Some highlights:

• Eating a Denver omelette IN Denver (see above)
• Seeing a Broadway musical (culture!)
• Drinking champagne and playing Wii with Mom and Dad
• Eating the BEST bison tenderloin ever
  
• Walking around downtown Denver at night
• Diamonds and pearls
  
• Serious shopping with Mom
• Beautiful holiday window displays
• Morning coffee in our jammies until noon
• My new glitter snowman globe
• I found a gift for Shug!!!!
• Just getting to spend time with my parents! They're fun!

I may be a little biased, but Denver is a pretty cool city.