No Resolutions Over Here...

...But I definitely have a list of things I'd like to focus on more in 2012.

I have to begin with telling you that I had a teensy-weensy existential crisis the other day, after perusing many of the beautiful blogs that I'd been neglecting over the course of the semester.  One of the blogs has been recounting the journey of this painfully hip couple in adopting their 9-year-old daughter from Africa.  Now I had just assumed that this couple was in their late twenties-early thirties.  They are a very talented design and photography team and really seem to have their shit together.  PLUS they are adopting a little girl, which means they have, like, super-ultra-shit-togetherness.  A recent post was a celebratory birthday post for the wife...who was turning 23...!  Yep, 2-3.  Not even MID-twenties and this chick is traveling over oceans to adopt her daughter!!!

Yeah, downward spiral into self doubt and deprecation ensued.  I started to notice ALL of the blogs I've been admiring are made by CHILDREN.  There is some young-successful-hipster-vitamin-gene that makes really beautiful blogs and websites and updates them daily.  These kids have careers, are married, have kid(s) of their own, pay mortgages, and post daily pictures of their abominably cute outfits.  In a sentence: I felt really behind.

After a few deep breaths and an episode of Friday Night Lights, I took a little inventory of where I am and where I'd like to be.  To be honest, I hadn't done this since I was 26...life since then just seems to be moving in fast-forward and I have been barely hanging on by my fingertips.  So, now that I'm at the start of my 30s, it's probably important that I set my sights on a few goals...at least those I can attain before the zombie apocalypse, anyway...

• Say "I love you" more often
• Be present 
• Find something important I did in every day
• Take more deep breaths
• Drink more red wine
• I guess I'd better drink more water, too
• Be involved in the process, not the product or end result
• Take more pictures
• Practice more gratitude
• Make more home-cooked meals
• Listen to more music
• Defend my free time with Shug
• Appreciate every day
• Quit comparing!

xo.

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Link Love and Lovelies and a New Year Wish

Isn't it so crazy another year has come and gone?  I am definitely feeling time fly this year!  Even if it feels I haven't been able to take a breather until now, I am so thankful so much has happened!  The biggest things for me in 2011 was that I earned my first master's degree (!) and was accepted to another super-competitive master's program.  I really struggled with the decision about going back to school or not, but with the support of Shug and my amazing family and friends, I left my job and jumped back in!

While I've been crazy-busy since school has started (cough-quietblog-cough), I did have some fun posts from this last year you could take a gander at over the holiday weekend!

~ A breakdown of French style!

~ Remembering that Shug and I went to Paris!

~ Pretty gifs.

~ Drunk babies.  Amazing, really!

~ Shug had a fun surprise birthday party!

~ Complete with a lumberjack photo booth!

~ Annnnd chocolate-covered bacon;)!

~ Finding the perfect jeans.

~ We adopted a hyena/deer/dog!

~ I prepared a Thanksgiving feast!

~ Shug and I made a holiday mix!

Thank you so much for making Goldteef a part of your blogroll, daily reads, and/or links!  While it's been a little quiet, Goldteef isn't going anywhere, so keep checking back for little snippets of life that inspire me!

Here's to wishing you all a safe, happy, and healthy 2012.

xo!

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SO Thankful...and full!

Did you have a nice holiday?  I really did.  It was the first time I was able to prepare our Thanksgiving meal for my family, so it was really special for me!  Everything turned out really great...except the turkey, of course!  But I think turkey is just kind of underwhelming, in and of itself!

Instead of links today, I'm going list some things that I am thankful for, plus you all probably know the good Black Friday deals without my help!

~ My Shug

~ My supportive and amazing family

~ My crazy and goofy dogs

~ My intelligent and endlessly inspiring friends

~ My education...and continuing education

~ My work ethic I learned from my parents

~ My house

~ My job that has seen me through 3 degrees and counting!

~ Ryan Gosling;)

~ My car that has gotten me to and from wherever for over a decade

~ My health

~ Netflix

~ Gluten-free cupcakes

~ And pretty much a million other things!

xo.

P.S.!!!! Bestest Best is celebrating a birthday today!  Happiest b-day to her!

Kitchen Demo Lite

Signs you are really, truly a grownup now:

~ You spend your anniversary weekend eating Taco Bell to save moolah.

~  Said anniversary weekend is also spent wrestling 60-year old cabinets out of your kitchen.

~  You are now a proud owner of a sledge hammer.

~  But you only bought the sledge hammer 

after tapping away at counter tops built for the zombie apocalypse 

with a regular ol' pantywaist hammer

...for SIX hours.

~  You had a sincere discussion about garbage disposals.

~  THEN, you spent YOUR SHOE money on a garbage disposal...

~  The best part of your day was collapsing into bed and holding your husband's hand,

knowing you did a grownup kitchen demo together.

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Annnd we're still not done!

Reflection on My Adventures in Grown-Up Land

I only have 10 (10!!) days left at work before I leave and start down this (kinda;)) new path of school.  While I am so grateful for the experience I've gained and the clients I've had the privilege to work with, there have been more than a few things that have struck me as imperative to remember and I now consider myself warned for the next go-round in Grown-Up Land.  Some valuable things I've learned:

~ Ethics are a sweet little dream academia makes up 

that is rarely enforced in the "real world."

~In further detail, ethics are actually a joke.  As in haha funny.

Especially when brought up in meetings.

~ Nobody is going to stick up for you except YOURSELF.

~ Boundaries are very, very important.

~That said, NOT bringing your work home is virtually impossible.

~ Never accept a job that does not pay you for being "on-call."

~ Just because an individual identifies as a "grown-up" 

does not mean they identify as "professional."

~ Do your job and do it well.

 ~Don't try to do other people's jobs well.

Taking on more lets the inadequate individuals slip by on credit you deserve.

~ You always have more to learn.

~ Even if you work at the most vile, horrible establishment,

rise above it and keep those bridges intact.

This may sound like sour grapes, but those that are close to me know that I've had a pretty "educational" year in Grown-Up Land.  I want to reiterate how thankful I am that I have had a job in this recession and that I was able to work with some of the most inspiring and selfless clients and coworkers.  I also want to emphasize how fortunate I am to have a wildly supportive husband, family, and circle of friends that have truly carried me through one of the toughest years of my life.  I love you.  I know that I haven't been able to express that eloquently or often enough, but you are my reason for being.  And trying.  And dreaming.

Perfect Day

Some weeks are so insanity-filled I like to take little mental health breaks throughout the day to recharge.  I like to imagine my perfect day.  It changes all the time, but I think it changes to meet me where my stresses are greatest.

Some days, I'm on a chairlift, the wheels happily squeaking against the line.  My legs feel comfortingly heavy against the chair because of the weight of my skis.  The sun will be shining through a light cloud and when the rays hit just right they sparkle like glitter suspended in the air.  The snow would muffle the occasional whoop and holler from other skiers below and it would be, just, perfect.

Other days, I'm back in Paris with Shug.  We're sitting in a park enjoying a bottle of deliciously cheap wine and a picnic.  We get to sit in the mid-afternoon sun and watch the tiny dogs run around with the serious purpose of playing.  The dull thunder of traffic is actually cut out here and there by the water splashing in a million-year-old fountain nearby and both of the sounds together are oddly soothing.  Shug will make me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt and we may even take a catnap there on the grass, warmed by our full bellies and the sun low in the sky.

And then there are days where I'm cannon-balling into our family condo's pool.  It's still a liiiiiiitle to cold to be swimming, but I don't care.  I be sure to stay away from the leaves floating here and there like little brown lily pads and wait for my Grandpa to skim them out and away from the clear water.  I know he enjoys this morning ritual, we get to talk and I show him my impressive backflips. 

See!  SO nice to take a little break!  What is your perfect day like today?

New Year's Eve 2010

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe New Year!

Have fun tonight and don't forget to kiss your sweetie...!

xo.

Reality Bites

Whew. Like really.  

How hard is it to get back into the swing of things in "real life" after a vacation?  I was with a difficult client yesterday and it took EVERY BONE IN MY BODY to not ponder what I had been doing exactly a week before.  But, of course, I still did.

Shug and I had been sitting in the park by the Louvre enjoying a bottle of Côtes du Rhône wine that was cheaper than our bottle of water.  We had stopped at a Monoprix market and scored some of the stinky cheese Shug and I had been fantasizing about stateside.  It was a lovely, lovely afternoon.

See how easy it was to not listen to my client?  The client that made me go back to Wendy's and get her more fries because hers weren't hot enough?  But she still managed to eat them all??  Gah.

I'm on a pretend retreat.  I'm going to imagine I get to spend all day on this Marina Abramović installation that was at the Centre Pompidou in Paris.  The headrest was carved completely out of quartz.  Pretty amazing.

I hope you all have a restorative and restful fall weekend!  What will you be doing to recharge?

xo.

The Art of Saying "No."

I've always been a pleaser.  Blame my birth order as the eldest child or my propensity to try to fix everything I see as "broken," but I just want to make people happy.  In many ways this is a blessing, since I am going into a helping profession that demands lending an ear sans judgment on a ridiculously regular basis.  But I've started, yes, just barely started, to realize I need to start policing my resources.

This realization came after a particularly arduous day at work, followed by another "crisis" that demanded my attention into the wee hours of the morning.  Do you know who I didn't get to ask how their day was, after talking about how everyone else's day was ad nauseam?  Shug.  Do you know who had to eat dinner by himself as I attended to the rest of the world's issues?  Shug.  Do you know who pulled the covers over me and turned out the light when I had crumpled into bed after I had exhausted every last resource of energy I had for the day? Shug.

So, lines in the sand have been drawn.  I am now set to protect the modicum of safety and sanity we've built together.  This is hard for me.  I'm practically unwinding my own DNA every time I tell a person "no" now.  It's hard because I do care about these people that ask and ask and ask, but I also need to start caring a little more about me.  I'm not talking about being selfish, just reserving enough for myself so I am capable enough to attend to my own relationships and priorities.  Typing that just gave me a migraine.

Is it difficult for you to tell people "no?"

Source.

Independence

Sometimes people say I'm "un-American"

because:

I speak out,

have a contrary opinion,

think things need to change,

voice my distaste with certain legislation....

But, every day,

I am thankful that I live in a country

where, as a woman especially, 

I CAN do these things.

Have a happy and safe 4th of July!