Some people would say I'm obsessed with finding people the "perfect" gift. Shopping for the holidays begins on December 26th for me. All year long I keep a running list in my head about what would make the recipient sublimely happy. I don't want to just give something the person would get for themselves...I want to do better. I want to give a present that is so unexpected, yet somehow perfect EVERY TIME.
Perfectionist much?
Take Shug, for example. I want to give this crazy kid every bazillion dollar camera the world and Russia has to offer. But since we're in a recession, we've imposed a $50 limit for each other this holiday.
Do you know what you can get for $50?
Nuthin'.
I've discovered everything amazing-cool-awesome-jawdropping-beautiful-creative thing is usually well above the half-Benjamin mark and to make matters worse, Shug has gotten the "I'm just gonna buy myself a few things" bug...Doesn't SOUND so bad, but just wait.
Shug has a short-list of "Things Necessary for Supreme Happiness." Quite a few of these things actaully are under the fifty dollar limit, so like a resourseful wifey I went a picked up one of the things on the list. Because that's what wives do, I'm told.
Attempt #1 - Guitar from Costco. Every time for the past few months, after we've stocked our cart with month's worth supplies of sun-dried tomatoes and laundry detergent, we'd swing down the musical instrument aisle and Shug would crane his neck as we passed this acoustic guitar like he was watching a childhood friend left behind through a rear view window. After the twelfth time this happened I went and bought the damn guitar. TWO days later I come home to find Shug practicing "Stairway to Heaven" or whatever on a new guitar from Costco. "WTF, babe?!?!" I asked calmly. I had thought he'd found his present and opened it up, but NOOOOO, he just went to Costco and bought himself the guitar. Result - Guitar returned.
Attempt #2 - Remote controlled helicopter from the pushy kiosk salesman at the mall. When holiday shopping with Shug's little sisters a week or so ago, we pass said kiosk and the light in Shug's eyes blinds us as he talks about how cool a remote controlled helicopter would be. We have to stop since we can no longer see where we are going. He grabs me and I squint from his bright stare. "You got one for me! Didn't you!" he posits, "I can just tell by the look on your face!" Result - Helicopter returned.
Attempt #3 - The best robe in the universe. Shug loves Twitter and apparently Twitter loves Shug, because three days ago he just won a DAMN ROBE in a Twitter contest. Result - I cried and robe was returned.
So nobody is getting anything for Christmas. Period.
